You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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