dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
