FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
