He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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