I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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