i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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