i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
