it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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