I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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