Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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