Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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