Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
