Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
