Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
