I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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