I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
