Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
