If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
