im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
