She said her name was "party"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
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