my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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