well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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