Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
