yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
