I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
