it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
