your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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