And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
