no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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