Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
