I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
