nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So squirting runs in the family.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
