You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
