why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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