i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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