NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
