Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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