No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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