Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
