I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
