I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
