We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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