singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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