the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
