Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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