Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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