No, you can still breathe under the balls.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
