OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
