So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
