Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm just crazy horny about you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
