Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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